February 22, 2026
19 Milrynth, 826
Aida had been learning to read since she left the circus. On this day, she began to read on her own, allowing her to self-study for the Golden Talon exam.
Gerald went to the Fireside Stool, a soldiers’ bar in Fowlerville, to ask about Calloway’s income. He met a scarred soldier, Johannes, who once turned down a transfer to the Hellstalkers. They retired to a booth to talk.
Johannes said that Calloway still has silver in her original war chest, supplemented by what could be scavenged from outlying ruins after the devastation took Shethya.
A fight broke out in the Stool between supporters of the Supreme Legionary Command, defending Gunbalar Prakk’s accession, and supporters of Calloway. A stray mug struck Gerald, prompting the bartender to break op the fight. Gerald tended the injured, most of whom were supporters of Prakk, and prayed to Dahadrila not to curse the bar.
21 Milrynth
The party returned to the dungeon. Returning to a door they once tried to chop down, they found a breadcrumb trail of coins leading to another door. They approached the door with great suspicion. After a few minutes of refusing to come closer, a sultry voice called out from behind the door. The voice said it was glistening, unprotected silver, in desperate need of heroic adventurers to carry it back to the surface.
Concluding the room to be a deathtrap, the party backed away until they were cornered against another door. A door banged open and the sound of a military band came, playing a jumble of anthems and hymns.
A group of six goblins rounded the corner from the silver room, including two musicians, two spear-carriers wearing tablecloths as capes, and a priest in a human coat that hung on him as a cassock. His name was P’nurk, and he bore a basket holding silver dalers and a bar of soap.
He declared that the Lesser Biter clan has been watching the party, and he believes they are strong enough to face the Three Trials and overthrow the cursed Soap-Eater (a term of abuse) Munkop, who kicked the Biters out of the Bloody Mouth tribe.
The party hesitantly agreed, hoping to recruit the aid of the goblins against the… other goblins.
P’nurk led them into a chamber. He warnedthem that the chamber is not one of the trials, but it is painted with scenes of gruesome horror, and the faint-hearted should keep their eyes to the ground. The scenes proved to be rendered in soap rubbed on the walls, and the central image was of Munkop, his mouth stuffed with soap, a rope lowering him into a cauldron holding a bubble bath. Other scenes of “violence” included casting him into a clean flowing river, and putting him in stocks and dragging a comb through his fur.
Continuing, the party came to a chamber with a cauldron and a dead body. Assuring P’nurk that they didn’t want a bite, the goblins removed the body. The ragged rest of the Lesser Biters gathered to watch as buckets of hot water were poured into the cauldron.
P’nurk announced that the first great trial was to strip and enter the cauldron. They did so hesitantly, with their weapons nearby, but the goblins broke into avid applause rather than attacking them unarmored.
Aida asked for soap, and P’nurk’s eyes boggled. He cried that they had anticipated and passed the second trial even before he could announce it.
For the third trial, he brought sponges and commanded them to scrub themselves. They did so, and P’nurk cast himself facedown, claiming that he truly had the gift of sight to choose such great and fearless heroes.
P’nurk, two goblin archers, and the two cloaked spearmen led the party to a back entrance to the Bloody Mouth territory. The chamber holds a pile of garbage, and P’nurk warned that huge rats lived there, creating a buffer between the clans. The party cut through the rats. The archers loosed enthusiastically, one of them pinging an arrow off Annais’ armor in the confusion. Someone called for the goblins to check their aim in the future.
The party pushed forward, breaching the Bloody feasting hall with swords and grenadoes. One enemy goblin escaped, but they chased it down and killed it in an intersection.
P’nurk told the party that the Bloody Mouth throne room was to the left, and the treasure room was straight ahead. The party breached the throne room. Munkop was sitting in a throne with the missing plate set in the back. His grizzled court wizard began casting a spell, but immediately fell to arrows. Annais rushed up the steps of the throne and beheaded Munkop with a single stroke.
The party fell to arguing with P’nurk over the treasure. Aida and Gerald were ready to betray the Lesser Biters and claim all the treasure, but cooler heads prevailed. P’nurk offered them their choice of chests from the treasure room, and they chose one with potions and a large ruby.
The treasure room was also stacked with additional stolen plates. A Bloody Mouth defector told them that Munkop had decided that, since adventurers kept trying to get his plate, surface-dwellers must find plates valuable. If the Bloody Mouth stockpiled plates, then, this would give them power over the surface-dwellers, even though the plates were worthless on their own. Munkop called this “finance.”
Annais suggested P’nurk extend this thinking and found a civilian goblin village in the dungeon, perhaps growing mushrooms to feed hogs for trade, or starting a ferry service in the storm tunnels. P’nurk was dubious until she placed Munkop’s paper and glass crown on his head and hailed him as king.
The Lesser Biters captured a few Bloody Mouth holdouts and invited the party to dine on them at the victory feast. The party politely declined, and P’nurk named them goblin-friends.
Returning to the surface with the plate, the Pink Unicorn Four hoped they would be able to relax and focus on their studies until they passed the exam…
